THE GRILLING GRINGO -Ecologically correct use of propane

I have done my share of outside cookery having first been introduced to this sub-set of food preparation in Boy Scouts many years ago. Since I have always had a heightened sense of hunger, it came easy to me.
As is usual in most homes I am aware of, the male quit cooking the moment he married and let the wife do it all. I guess it is related to the
"Hunter/Gatherer Plan" of family life. Men go out and knock off a beast and the women go pull a few roots. Then the men get to sit and drink beer while the wife cleans, prepares and then cooks the meat. Makes sense.
After awhile, as the man ages, he realized he is having more and more trouble finding, chasing down and knocking off a beast. He slowly begins to feel just a tiny bit of guilt about the wife doing stuff while he sits. He looks up from his beer and thinks, "I wonder what is the least I can do to make it look like I'm still helpful around here?" Of course, this guy picks up on the activity that seems the least apt to raise a sweat---cooking!! After all, the little woman can cook!! How hard could it be!!! It's better than cleaning the toilets and vacuuming..
Now, we have all heard that cooking is an art and should not be taken lightly. Anyone can cook on an inside stove and oven (WOMEN) We great hunters must go hunt down the SONIC BLASTER 5OOO with more power than the space shuttle and get cooking!!! Standing if front of this $3000 beauty brandishing our new stainless steel grilling tools brings back memories of the spear and arrows actually used to kill ravenous and terrible beasts. Not quite the same, but adequate.
Now he throws on store-bought-meat some of which is almost recognizable and tries to get it to a palatable state. Occasionally he will call for a beer (which his wife who is extremely happy to help) will bring out to him from the refrigerator as soon as she can while making the desert, fruit compote, potato salad, setting the table and so on.
See how much fun it can be in YOUR marriage--get a wife first, get a grill and get cooking!!! And remember to smile sweetly when gathering in the many compliments on the great meal by saying, " ah, shucks! It wasn't nothing!!"

Changing the subject

Although I know a lot of stuff and have truly tried to always be correct, and at the same time, tried to offer my brand of correctness to the rest of the poorly informed world, it seems that occasionally (RARELY) I am NOT totally correct. See prior BLOG in which I discuss the world shattering "I and Us and We" controversy. I say that the use of the various pronouns depends on their position in the sentence. Others try to say it is somewhat more esoteric having to do with verbs, recipient of action and other English major-type stuff.
All that is well and good, but oneself (See prior BLOG again) cannot help but think and FEEL what seems right to Himself. I cannot--no matter how often I try to see it the other way, my way seems totally correct. I know about the two faces and the wine glass optical illusion and Rorshach testing and all that stuff, but verbal is NOT visual. Maybe a blind person could sort this out, but there are many more important tnings in life so I plan to drop this like a hot potato (e?).....Now why the heck did THAT expression get into our lexicon?
On of the more important things I refer to are health. I have had over 34 operations and am exceptionally level-headed and not insane through all these FUN trips. Everyone says so. Guess it's true. I was just released form the hospital after the third go round for an bowel--incisional infection and was feeling kind of sorry for myself until I heard a good friend was in the same hospital ICU having just had a brain operation for metastatic carcinoma in the meninges of her brain.
I was allowed to leave my room and visit her in ICU for five minutes and was very impressed that she could smile. She was white as a ghost and her speech was slightly slurred, but she seemed to be clear in her mind, even asking about MY health. She is a wonder. All the surgery, chemo and radiation and she is still thinking about others. Sharon is an example to us all. Pray.

Again X 4---(Will it NEVER end?)

Anyhoo, I guess there are still things swimming around in my brain like Koi picking at the tasty bits of plankton and rushing toward the shadows of the people who come to see their pretty colors. How good of you to enjoy the fish in the pond to errant thoughts in my brain simile!! You must be highly educated and possibly even erudite!! If one can't use similes and big words in one's own BLOG, where can one?
I got to thinking about this strangely old fashioned manner of referring to "Oneself" and the Koi came to life at this shadow that might mean brainfood!!! Could it be that we humans have a problem referring to ourselves in a straightforward way that may seem too "ME-ISH" to others, or we may suspect it thus, and take a verbal step back (or a mere flip of a fin---so as not to loose the wonderful fish simile) and use a somewhat lesser form of "ME--NESS."
This MAY be why people who want to be liked as "just one of the boys" will often use the term Myself rather than the tougher style word "I". We've all heard commentators on TV--who really deep down know they are a LOT smarter than their listeners who probably don't understand what the heck is really being said get into this self deprecating "Myself" business.
It is EXTREMELY IRRITATING TO WE LISTENERS WHO ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AND TRULY "KNOW THE SCORE". Now
I have to stop and try to explain about the use of WE in the previous (or foregoing, if you'd rather) sentence. "It ALL depends on position." said the Missionary. "Some positions are Godly and correct and others are Pagan and therefore dirty and must be stamped out and the perpertrators of same (Thank God, Myself is not one of these!!!) must be either prayed over or burned at the stake or both until they come to their senses!!"
But I digress (Not two ways of getting out of a situation--see P.T.
Barnum's famous sign in his Museum directing people toward the exit which in those days was spelled EGRESS--This will be explained in a later posting.
Now to undigress---IF THE PRONOUN US WERE USED IN THE AFOREMENTIONED AND ALL IN CAPS SENTENCE RATHER THAN THE CORRECT PRONOUN, WE, IT WOULD CAUSE DEEP EMBARRASSMENT AND BLUSHING OF THE MISSIONARIES AS THE POSITIONING WOULD BE ALL WRONG. WE IS CORRECT BECAUSE WE KNOW THE SCORE. Do you get the idea?? Can I make it any clearer or am myself on top in this educational position?? More later when I have finished digesting this plankton. By the way did you know that fish sticks are cut up fish planks??

I AM NOT THAT OLD!!!!!!!!!!

After reading my latest post about the nasties and SEX on my TV, LSW told me she thought I sounded ninety years old. I MAY be that age in Curmudgeon Years (CUYRS), but feel far from ninety in Chronological Years (CHYRS).
I REALLY do miss the earlier years when one took off his hat in an elevator when LADIES were present. I recall a story --probably in the READERS' DIGEST about a man who got onto an elevator, and removed his hat when he noted several females present in the car. As the car rose, the females continued their conversation with many "salty" words. The man silently replaced his hat.
I wish that men still wore hats so we could respond to the continued emergence of "salty" language and nasty things that are coming upon us more and more each day. Now we even have young girls on YOUTUBE beating up other girls. When these same girls get older they can show off on "GIRLS GONE WILD". Where will it end?? Do we have to look forward to the men staying home to care for the kids and the NEWLY TOUGHENED women being sent to Iraq or other stupid wars?? Thanks, George.