Medical Dusting and Cleaning

Used to be that Dusting and Cleaning to us older nurses meant only one thing-- D & C-- a dilatation and curettage( Podden Mah French!!) which is a medical procedure to remove the contents of a uterus (WOMB) after the opening of the cervix is dilated. This could be a GOOD thing or a BAD thing, but the results were the same---a nice clean uterus ready to go for the next thing that those organs do.
I got into the habit of using Dusting and Cleaning for myself (totally male) as any form of a medical "tuning up" such as lab tests, X-rays, body part manipulations, and surgery. As a retired CRNA (CERTIFIED REGISTERED NURSE ANESTHETIST). I consider myself an expert on surgery. MANY OF US CRNAs JOKED THAT OUR JOB CONSISTED OF SITTING ON A STOOL ALL DAY LONG AND PASSING GAS!!!!! So, don't laugh---it's funny to us.
Another aspect of my expertness is that I have had over thirty (30) major opertions and an uncounted number of minor ones, SOOOOOOOOOOOO I can talk about my own D &C's. Not fun, but all were absolutely necesssary. Catch me in a verbose, garrulous and loquacious mood sometime and I'll tell you all about all of them.
Today I went to see a new (to me) orthopedic surgeon at Summit Orthopedics. At their office I was offered and given a darn near perfect cup of coffee in the waiting area, and was treated with the complete respect any patient should get. Not that I was mad or upset about the care I had received before, but at age 67 this was GREAT!!
I have had left knee pain since a basketball injury at age 14 that caused my OSGOOD-SCHLATTER'S DISEASE (look it up) to cause the insertion of the quadriceps tendon to completely tear away from the tibia. THAT WAS A WHOLE LOT OF FUN--- The only treatment available in those days was to have my left leg casted straight from the groin to the toes hoping the tendon would grow back and be OK. As the leg lost its muscle strength (atrophy) and movement, each time the Doctor sawed off the old cast and tested the aforementioned sore spot on the front of the tibia, he then applied a new, smaller cast until he thought it was OK at 371 days. By this time the thigh was only 5 1/2 inches around halfway between the knee and the hip and there were hairs 14 inches long!!! It took me months to be able to bend that knee to 90 degrees and three whole years to get the left leg muscle looking somewhat like the right. It never got there, but who could really tell the difference of 2 1/2 inches? I don't blame the doctor--this was a small town in South Dacota in 1954-55. The speciality of Orthopedics (Straight Child) hadn't even been thought of. The doctor said,"Well, it's cured, but someday you'll have a lot of trouble with that knee." Prophetic---I could never kneel on that knee(bad for a Catholic altar boy--The LOOKS I got!!). Also pain in varying degrees, but never completely gone.
Total knee re-placement at age 55 with severe infection, pain and more pain followed by pain. Worn out replacement at age 67. Increasing pain, deformity, swelling and no good sleep for weeks on end. Thank God for Codeine.
Back to the free coffee. I had more X-rays (not free) and then the doctor came in exactly on the scheduled time. He had a great rep but looked 16. He said, "Man, you sure have had problems with that knee!" He then proceeded to gently examine me, then asked ME what I expected from him. First time I had been asked that question by a doctor in my whole life. I said,"Less pain and just a little bit more bend so I can sit straighter and maybe even get some sleep."
He told me that he felt he could operate and get my 57 year old terrible knee to bent to 90 degrees with no pain, but with no guarantees, of course.. I had not realized just how much my damn sucker of a knee had affected me. I actually started to cry and Dr. Daniel Hoeffel grabbed me and hugged me!!! I was so overcome by this sincere act of kindness that I would have let him operate on me right then and there even without anesthesia. NOW THAT IS MY IDEA OF A DOCTOR!! IF he can do as he said, it would be the first time in my whole adult life that I could sit in a theater and NOT to the right of an aisleto stick my left leg out and in a car for more than 30 minutes at a time and maybe even walk without a cane and not fall over for no reason at all and most importantly, kneel at Mass and say a pray of thanks.